Reconnecting with yourself

For the last month, I have been feeling disjointed, it’s very hard to explain but it seems there is a separation between me and myself and as a result things have been really getting to me and I have been feeling stressed, overwhelmed and angry and unfortunately it’s been playing on my health! However, I realised although the ego ‘you’ doesn’t know what you need, the universe does, strangely enough over the past 2 weeks I have been having repetitive conversations about meditation, those of you who don’t understand would say it is a coincidence, however I believe it is a sign!

We get so consumed with life, social media, and our phones that we forget to focus on what’s important; ourselves. The result of my ignorance about this hit me on Sunday when I chatted to a girl at a party. She teaches meditation and while I spilled out about my anxieties and fears, she spoke about her classes, about being in the moment and reconnecting and centering, as she explained how meditation had changed her life, helped her find what she really wanted to do (She is now a nutritionist, previously in finance) and how happy she is to go to work every Monday, I realised how far from that I was and suddenly, I knew exactly what I had to do in order to find my peace again, I had to reconnect with my true self. When I say true self some of you won’t know what I am talking about but I honestly believe we are just a shell and who we really are lies deep inside.

I had been reflecting on this after our chat, it’s funny, when you are whole or rather when you feel whole, things seem easier to handle and this wholeness comes and goes but I wish it would come and stay and the only way I can make that happen is by helping the process. I wish everyone could understand where I am coming from but I guess this is my thing and no one else’s.

Anyway, I will try my best to let you know how it all goes, I am already feeling challenges but I know this is going to help in the long run and that’s what I need to focus on, the long term benefits. Wish me luck!

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If I could see myself like you do…

The other day while scrolling through my Facebook feed I came across an article, a girl had decided to let her boyfriend dress her for a week, why I hear you asking, well the article started with the following…

‘ My boyfriend, Chris doesn’t see me the way I see myself. So I wanted to see how someone who doesn’t have my insecurities would dress me for a week.’

This got me thinking, wouldn’t it be great to know how others see you, perhaps it would help you to work on your insecurities. Doing this kind of experiment would really help you build your confidence and maybe even help you to see yourself in a new light, therefore inspired by this very brave girl, I have decided to give Mr R the same task. I shall keep you all updated with the results, although you’ll have to wait a while, still got a few months before we share a home together.

For now, I have a task for you all;
1. Read the article – My Boyfriend dressed me for a week…
2. Ask 5 people you know well to tell you what they think about you and what they like about you and why, it can be physical traits or personality traits.
3. Write down all comments
4. Share them here. I promise to do the same

Looking forward to see what you all come up with!

 

Insecurities

Being true to yourself…

It’s got to a point in life where I won’t meet people unless they can offer me something, I’m a learner, my mind, body and soul strives from learning and although that wasn’t always clear to me, I know this now.

Last week, I had dinner with a friend, not someone I see often but someone who always seems to leave me with an after thought. This time it was the need to be true to yourself, she spoke about a friend, who she no longer really talks to. Not her exact words but what she said was something on the lines of this and I loved how she made it sound so simple

‘When I returned from my holiday, I realised I changed, certain things weren’t important to me anymore and this friendship was one of those things, I had to be true to myself’

I guess the point is, things we go through change us and certain people we were once close to, we just can’t relate to anymore but that’s ok, if anything it’s a good thing because this means your getting closer to your raw core, spiritually so many things don’t matter. Not money nor the attachments you’ve built with people, all that matters is you are true to yourself.

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Find Yourself Now

I watched this programme last night, sometimes TV can be so insightful, I’m not a big fan of dramas but anything reality always has me hooked because it gives you a view that is different from yours, whether its the people, the place they are from or just the way they interact with each other, it’s always great viewing but ultimately I think it’s the psychologist in me who just loves any kind of social experiments because that’s all it is, a bit like that Jim Carrey movie ‘The Truman Show’ but far less obvious.

Anyway, the programme titled ‘The Real Marigold Hotel’ sees a group of older very well-known people visit India to see what retirement abroad could offer them. Apart from generally good viewing, what striked me was how lost a few of them were, to be in your 60s or 70s and still suffer from lack of direction, anxiety, stress and fear, these are all feelings none of us want to experience when we’re older, so it makes sense to deal with them now. It also made me feel quite grateful that us as the younger generation not only have the older people to learn from but also so many more resources to help ourselves. Everyday we read articles about health and healing on Facebook, see spiritual quotes on Instagram and listen to positive podcasts on our iPhones. We are so lucky that finding our way and bringing peace into our life is something that is so much easier nowadays, so if you find yourself now, you’ll be doing the future you a favor but remember only we can take this decision and make this happen!

If your interested in watching the first episode of this very interesting programme, you can watch it on BBC here:The Real Marigold Hotel

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Happiness Quote

New Years Resolutions

Everyone makes jokes about resolutions, we have them ready to churn out in advance and then by the end of January, they have all been forgotten.

It’s understandable why this happens and there is nothing wrong if the motivation fades. Sometimes life gets in the way and before you realise  it, the year has passed by…

But it’s a New Year now, it’s 2016 and it’s time to reset those resolutions and try your hardest to stick to them but no pressure, if you can’t, don’t be too hard on yourself, remember time goes so fast that 2017 is just around the corner.

Making your List

Reflecting on last year, here is a list of things I need to work on this year and I hope these will encourage you to make a list too. Write them down and look at them often, that’s bound to help keep them fresh…

-Don’t worry, everything is going to be fine
– Meditate more, it will alleviate stress
– Put ‘Me’ first. Find time for me
– Life is short, don’t sweat the small things
– Take one day at a time: Be in the moment
– Choose happiness: Be Happy
– Find time for people who are important. Don’t waste time on people who are not
– Build your mental strength
– Listen to your gut
– Be grateful
– Take your time
– Freedom is the ability to be independent

One last thing, now I know it’s only week two of January but I’m feeling pretty good and I think these are some of the reasons why:

  1. Podcasts – What a great invention. On the list are the following: The meditation Podcast, The Positive Psychology Podcast and Radio Headspace. Listen to them in the morning, during the day, after work and at night. They are healthy ingredients for the mind.
  2. A diary given to me by cousin N (Mama Duck Quacks) called The Get up & Go Diary for Busy Women, this amazing diary includes daily quotes, healthy recipes, motivational words and much more.
  3. A positive attitude that is motivated by taking each day as it comes, living my life how I choose, continually reminding myself to be happy and not letting anyone or anything knock me down (And it seems to be working) #Watchthisspace

Happiness Quote

Me Me Me!

What do you want?

On a recent trip abroad, I sat with a friend who had been through a break up. What was it about her that made her so special? I asked. And to my surprise one of the things he said was ‘she made me a good home made meal’ but anyone would do that for you right? Well it seems not, sometimes all we really want in life is the simple things, especially as age catches up with us.

It’s funny, sometimes we are quick to forget to think about what we really want and we settle for something that’s so far from the truth. Being a really relaxed person who is used to putting others first, it’s easy to forget about your own needs. It becomes the norm to always think about how you can please others and that’s all you begin to know. However, one day, like me, you’ll meet someone who cares enough to ask ‘but what about you, what do you want?’ Who would have thought this would be such a difficult question to answer but it is. I was posed with this question last week and I had no idea what to say. That’s what inspired me to write this post because I am sure I’m not the only one that’s in this position.

What is the solution?
Be a little selfish, there is nothing wrong with being selfish once in a while, put yourself first, think about what you want and what your needs are. Why? Because in the long run it will help; help to define you, help to clarify what you want and most importantly help to ensure you don’t ever feel any resentment towards others.

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Accept how people see you…

The way you see yourself is not always the way others see you. Ask your closest friends to describe you in 5 words and see how different it is compared to how you would describe yourself. We are often too hard on ourselves, we criticise our traits and complain about our faults but why can’t we for once see ourselves through someone else’s eyes.

Earlier this week, I had the great pleasure of sitting with a friend whom I hadn’t seen for many years. As I shared stories of my life and she laughed whole heartedly, one thing she said really resonated ‘Being with you always makes me so happy’. To know despite all my flaws that I could create that reaction was a true gift and it sure isn’t the first time I have heard that!

So today’s post is a reminder that you will make some people very happy just by being you, because they can see you on the inside, even if you don’t see it yourself, accept how people see you…